Pride

Heavy accent
Proud and strong
Sunken eyes pulled from behind by sadness
Aching heart,
Resignation

Grandparents and parents torn from their home
Beaten
Broken
Burnt
Survivors of horrors beyond our imagination

Now in a foreign land
Poor
Belittled
Resented
But proud, strong, alive

Intelligent, knowing
Kind and true
Observing the indigenous with raised eyebrows
Weighty sigh

This oozing integrity touches my soul
A connection is made
I will not forget
Respect

A window into their lives:-

A window into their lives:-

We are invited yet not wanted
Welcomed yet feared
Needed but resented
Our visits are unprepared for
Our presence demanded in desperation

Unshaven legs, dirty laundry
Dishes left out, bodies unwashed
Excuses made, apologies and explanations
It's all irrelevant

What happened here?
What's your story?

Tears and despair,
The true face of fear
worlds turned upside down
Lovers torn apart
Families strewn to the winds

Doors slam shut and fingers are crossed
Throats choke with lumps
Lips are stiffened
Everybody waits....,,,

Herstory - Crack of the Whip

Crack of the whip, and we jump,
That leather snake cuts deep into our skin
Each scar a testimony to our suffering

My momma's been sold to another family now,
When we kiss goodbye , we both know it's the last time we will see each other. I watch her walk away until she becomes a dot...
I'm only 9, and afraid about what's to come.
I know it's bad, just what level of bad.....

My best friend is my owners daughter, Emily
We is like sisters, we play together every day,
But I can't eat with her, I eat in the barn with the animals-
"Where I belong"
Deep in my heart I feel a pain,
A sense of impending doom...

Next morning a stranger comes to the house
I'm pulled from my chores
Pushed onto a box to stand
like a steer at market he peruses me
The purchase is made
Emily is standing at the window her hand pressed hard against it
I break free and run to her
But our silent tears spill with resignation

Crack of the whip, and we jump.

Saudade

In my Mind's eye I still see you
Your head thrown back
A huge belly fueled laugh
Tumbling from your mouth
But my physical eyes capture the reality
You are gone
I'm left with saudade
Lost, and yearning for one last chance to chat, to giggle, to weep together
Your physical self is now dust
Taken on winds to far away places
Scattered in corners unreachable.
You've been gone a year now,
And still it does not make sense
The why's continue, as does the pain,
But gone you are
Life around continues a little bruised
And we learn, some wounds never heal,
You just get used to the pain
'tenho saudades tuas

Truth and Love

I watch myself twist and twirl
Spinning downwards
I cannot stop
I cannot save myself
The thin skin given to me at birth
Has not toughened with age
Scars have not leathered my wounds
Instead I am more vulnerable than ever

Nerves heightened as lies lash reality
It hurts.......I hurt
Truth is irrelevant. I limp away, broken.
I am defeated, I lost and have to face it.
My fears and suspicions are realised
Manipulators lord their victory
Bridges are burnt
We, I, stand alone - isolated.

And yet,

Still my heart beats, still my brain thinks.
Still my being loves, and is loved.
I am broken but not gone
All my pieces are within reach
Love and truth will adhere them bit by bit
Because Truth is not irrelevant to me
It matters, I matter, We matter

Small minds?

Idyllic, quaint and peaceful
Everyone with a unique but equal role
All connected, needing each other
Reliant on one another
Generations mediating in times of disagreement
Egos slapped back into place
Bad behaviour challenged there and then,
Smooth waters softening the edges of conflict til over time they cannot be seen
Everyone wants to piece of this, a place within it
Join in, fit in, complement the ways.

Then they arrive and they have what is needed, to fill in the gaps
Bridge the gaps,
Concrete over the gaps! Hell concrete over all
They have SO much to offer
SO much experience of the 'real 'world to impart on these poor simple creatures living in the dark
What this peaceful place needs is progress, with them at the helm
Driving it forward

We observe and sigh
With a knowing eye we wait and watch
Wait for the egos to collide
And collide they do
Collision is inevitable
Fire and brimstone, hot air and points missed
Then they flee citing ignorance
Lack of vision and wrongdoing
We pick up the pieces
Sweep up the settling dust
Give a nod to our neighbour
And get on with our lives

The race

Such dreams she held that young girl
Mountains climbed, worlds saved
Nothing was going to stop her
She had so much to give and all that time to do it

Then a thief entered her life...
A wily cunning old thief.
Broad daylight set the backdrop
to the dastardly deed, and oft it was repeated.

Busyness distracted her, deliberately averting her,
from custody once gone, could never be back
Engaging her mind and her soul
She'd been robbed of a priceless possession


So it's passed and is still....
passing her by
Hours like seconds, months like weeks
Time leaving existence for dust
In a race that was rigged from start

So I impart some wisdom to Steele her
To accept what was always the truth.
That it belonged not to her in the first place
Was on loan, and always had to be returned

I will tell her to be happy on this borrowed time.....
'Go easy and lighten your load,
Time has an undefeated opponent
One who can beat it hands down.
So embrace and welcome it to you
And let Love be what drives you home'

At last

Elation heaves the weight from
my shoulders
Gravity looses its power
I float from the ground free from my shackles
A smile has found its way home
So long I have waited for this moment
Envy, longing are past
Swirls of delight fill the space around me
I'm drifting on diamonds and rainbows
Up up I go, unrestrained from ponderous thoughts
The emancipation of my dreams.....

Reflections

Reflections
I look at this woman staring out of the mirror
She looks tired.
Heavy grey circles weigh down her once bright eyes
Pulling with them lines etched on her furrowed brow
Her auburn locks faded now, a mix of peeking white through on offer dye
Lines have taken over dimples
Gravity has worked on this woman
heads turning for a glimpse, bygone
Inside her minds eye remembers
She and I share a sigh
I lower my gaze

Exile

Glowing fire lights the faces
Warm and snuggled, entwined on sofas
Minds clear, still waters
Black and white movie, chocolate
Peace and love reign this sanctuary

Outside the squally elements thrash trees
Relentlessly tearing at branches high and low
Debris circles before scattering
Whistling wind taunts, challenges

One last glance into the refuge....
The glowing is gone as I turn to face the storm
I am exiled: to exchange my labour I go

Buddy

Just a few kind words melt my weary heart
As gold dust fine and rare
Weathering hard times, value never lost
Friend you are so precious to me.

Time passed over endless cups of tea
World's problems dissected and resolved
Tears flow as secrets unfold then
We are cracked with laughter
Invincible in our quest
Validating emotions- no requirement for logic
troubles halved, brave faces applied
We part a little stronger

Lust

Oh that it could be bottled
This wonderful drug that is lust
Trigger of leaping hearts, reachable horizons, insatiable climax
Intense passions leading us upriver towards bliss
Longing, aching for its intensity
Until we are awash with desire
yearning for the next time.....
Oh that it could be bottled

All things must end

Butterflies flapping relentlessly
Churning breakfast with endless cups of tea
If only there was more time
More time to work
More time to play
More time to think......to be
The last grains of sands slip through the enviable waist of the hourglass
Our time is nearly up
Regrets scream out
Making liars of those who say they have none
What have i achieved?
What was it all about?
How did i make them feel?
Music and I face each other,equal opponents,
and find ourselves friends

Moments of bliss

Moments of bliss

Tickles of paradise hold on tight
Securing us from all things bad
We catch each other's eyes and we know,
We just know

stolen moments when all is well
buffer zones of Equilibrium surround our tranquil hearts
light flooding darkness
Fury and fallibilities, memories long past
Your head comes to rest upon my shoulder
The world has stopped turning.........

Please just go

My body and mind screaming for release......for peace
Toxic words shoot as lethal pellets
Each one piercing my soul

And yet I'm still alive

Why....how.....
What keeps this wounded heart beating day in, day out
What's the point? a desperate soul emplores

What is the point?
Electrical overload, brain tripping as it frantically searches for answers
Computer says no
Hell we're all in trouble now

Pieces of me falling on hard surfaces
Crystal shards shatter
And yet this heart continues to beat

Eyes close and I'm safe
If I can't see them surely they can't see me
I'm being shaken......they can see me
There is no escape
Seen or not seen the dark clouds accumulate
......rain is inevitable.....peace must wait

The Wave

The Wave
Dual senses receive the news 
Acid droplets energising
Tsunami of emotion growing within my body
A sharp heavy pain grips my chest
Stealing my breath, stirring my bile
Hot clamps firmly press upon my skin,
rising through my neck until
the sucker punch bruises my brain, my soul, my belief.
I am dragged back in time places long filed away.
Lost, lonely and betrayed,
the young girl starring with disbelief, fear and dread.
Gripped with shock, wet with emotion, 
I know I have failed her, learning nothing,
Allowing pain to drown my truth.