Saturday, 30 June 2012

Small minds?

Idyllic, quaint and peaceful
Everyone with a unique but equal role
All connected, needing each other
Reliant on one another
Generations mediating in times of disagreement
Egos slapped back into place
Bad behaviour challenged there and then,
Smooth waters softening the edges of conflict til over time they cannot be seen
Everyone wants to piece of this, a place within it
Join in, fit in, complement the ways.

Then they arrive and they have what is needed, to fill in the gaps
Bridge the gaps,
Concrete over the gaps! Hell concrete over all
They have SO much to offer
SO much experience of the 'real 'world to impart on these poor simple creatures living in the dark
What this peaceful place needs is progress, with them at the helm
Driving it forward

We observe and sigh
With a knowing eye we wait and watch
Wait for the egos to collide
And collide they do
Collision is inevitable
Fire and brimstone, hot air and points missed
Then they flee citing ignorance
Lack of vision and wrongdoing
We pick up the pieces
Sweep up the settling dust
Give a nod to our neighbour
And get on with our lives


  1. I am working on this one but needed to publish before I deleted - any constructive words most grateful

  2. Hmm. There's a lot here; but I agree this is a work in progress. And a rather grand work at that, I might add. I believe you might need a bit of focus in defining who your speaker is, and exactly who he/she is speaking about. After that I believe the poem will flow naturally. First center it around you or a character and define exactly those others. Right now it's rather passive and we need to feel ourselves at its center rather than being left on the outside looking in. Otherwise I think it will be a fine and important poem.

  3. i think you capture a bit of human nature here...esp when egos come into play and the fall out afterward...particularly in that last stanza...and you know sometimes it is best to just get on with life....i def think you have the bones...flush out who the they is and maybe make it a bit more personal...

  4. well first...I love it!...but you know what it is that you have inside you to put there...and also who it is. The lines that resonate with me are the ones concerning the gap. Many years ago I read the letters from prison of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and in one of the letters to his brother in law he writes...God will not fill the gap..that is up to us all to step in and with humanity...fill those gaps in the world. I painted an image of what it meant to me...that we may be of similar persuasions..but if we don't communicate in relationships...the gap is not filled. Thankyou for this poem. I hope you don't mind that I've printed it off to read to my poetry group next time we meet.

    1. Thankyou, very humbled that you would think it good enough to read to others. I wrote it observing people moving into a group/established community from a city/corporate background; and them assuming they have all the answers to the problems which lie there. It also works with families/friendships though.......the assumption people make about others lives. Like you say, without communication there is always a gap.